Overdrive. The restless me

Overdrive, first it was this song that I've been listening for weeks now, and the feeling that came with it. My brain never sleeps, I have special interests, and I am always fascinated by the people around me. 
Everything starts with the human and ends with it. There are a lot of problems in our society, integration is one of them. 

Integration is a dream. Integration is a beatiful theory, because in practice is miserably failing. I don't think that it's getting easyer, even now... When this shadow hits me, overdrive helps me numb the pain. Lately I feel unmotivated, like something is dying inside me. Am I going to be the same unfit puzzle piece ? Does it have  to be so damn hard, to be included in the environment? Majorly nothing has changed. I'm observing people around me, taking drugs to my ADHD, so I can focus, but the hopelessness still part of my life.

As a future social worker, and a person with many shit, discovered a method against lethargic depression.
With the help of my ADHD, restlessness is flooding my brain constantly, so I make plans for activities, those can help me release the sadness, the pain, the anxiety. I put every fucked up feeling in an imaginary box, I detach myself from them and overdrive heals me. 
Depression is my friend, although he sometimes want's me dead. Fighting for inclusion is like being Don Quijote de La Mancha who is fighting against windmills, against old believes, unnecessary rules in society, violence of any kind, and so on...
My childhood sore experiences are my guides to open people eyes that different is not bad, not contagious, just unfamiliar. 

When the speed hits, all my failure leaving my heart and mind, and I create new things, and with new things, my troubled heart starts to heal, slowly, with every stich. 
I learned to mend myself, nobody can put me back together, in the and of the day I am alone.
Maybe if people with mental issues could learn how they work,  they could develop strategies to prevent bad outcomes, like suicide, self harm and death. 
The key is self knowledge, years of examining our behaviour, to know what is good, what is bad for us.
Setting healthy boundaries in all areas of our life:  work, family, friends. Taking time off, loving ourselves.
Overdrive, the song, is reminding myself to not give up on my dreams, that every people deserves the right treatment and have to be included in this society. 



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